"i'm watching you"

"i'm watching you.." 

ok, that could be creepy coming from someone we don't know. or even just thinking that someone is watching us. but i assure you this is a good thing. this is something that i have always known. but with every season of life we go through, there is always a different meaning. we are in an amazing bible study called, "a journey home". we started it 5 weeks ago. i love it. i love the people in our group. more importantly, i love what God is doing in my heart.

we all received an envelope yesterday before this short movie clip we watched. the narrator told us to pretend this was us. the video was a flashback of a little boy in his family's station wagon. it was summertime, the windows were down, and warm breeze going through his fingers and hair. we were to relax, to let the weight of our fears slip out of our hands. the little boy raised his arms and opened up his hands as to release everything in his life that was weighing him down.  and next to him was an envelope. that's when we were to open ours.  i opened mine up and it said, "I'm watching you, because I love you so much." (as taken from psalm 33:18 which says:  "the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love")

i sat there and wanted to cry. it's exactly what God wanted me to know at that very moment. it spoke right to my heart. no matter what i've been through and what i continue to go through, God will be right there. right by my side. right there every step of the way to assure me that everything will be okay. which made me think of jeremiah 29:11--"i know that plans that i have for you--plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  it somehow brought new meaning to my past, present and future. i am so thankful. thankful for everything in my life. my past, my present, and my future.

i decided last night that i was going to tape this to my mirror in my bathroom. for a daily reminder that God is always there, because he loves us so much.

"I am watching you, because I love you so much." let Him in and let Him take control. it feels so good.

a little farm

what an adventurous time we had yesterday! it was our town's trick-or-treat. and since the kids aren't really old enough to trick-or-treat, really, we dressed them up and paraded them around to grandparents' houses. we had a blast. by the end, us moms (who just happen to be 2 of my favorite girls) took a deep breath, exhaled, and ate a some junk food (thanks, teena!) not that we hadn't already eaten some delicious chili for supper, cappuccino & scotcharoos at lori's, and more candy at barb's. but seriously, who's going to say "no" to cheesecake. not me. not ever.

our first stop was micah's parent's house. the kids went straight to the dog cage! we had scotcharoos & cappuccino. yummmm. we spent some time having a good laugh at the kiddos!

       

our next stop was mallory's parent's house! the kids had fun going up and down the stairs! they even played with toys..along with eating some more candy..

then we ran to micah's grandma's house quick to say hello!

great-grandma byrd & crew

our little lamb fell fast asleep on the way to the bowman's 

after we left her house, we made it to our final destination. brenna's parent's house. we were greeted with lots of food. junk food! my favorite kind. the kids ran around and had a lot of fun playing. 

my 3 guys!

so sweet

we all had such a fun time yesterday and created great memories! here are some more pics from our adventures!

my sweetie pie!

cutest twins ever

ava, the pig

cooper, the cow

loves the stairs

a farmer & his sheep

my sweet babies

my little tag

sometimes i have to remember to make each moment last. each moment with micah, each moment with tag & crew, each moment with a piece of cheesecake..ok. i admit it. i love dessert. especially cheesecake. but back to my sweet little tag.

when tag was a baby, i never thought he was going to be a cuddler. i was envious of all my friends with cuddly babies--you girls know who you are!! :) but then God blessed us with crew. that baby would make anyone want a baby. stat. so sweet and cuddly. just perfect. then around 2 years old, all of a sudden i noticed how tag was always sitting right next--or on top of me if we were on the couch, sitting on the floor, etc. he HAS to be touching some part of my body. at times i was like--really? personal space! but then i started to realize what i thought i never would. i think his love language is physical touch! really?! the baby who hated to be cuddled? yes. my little tag is a cuddler. each morning, we sit on the couch and he snuggles up right next to me. he even lets me put my arm around him and he nestles in even closer. my favorite time with tag is in the morning. after baby crew goes down for a nap, it's time for tag and mommy time. we watch his favorite shows and cuddle. i never knew i would get to enjoy these sweet moments with this child!

he's the child who will test me (i know they all will) but the one who knows just what buttons to push. he's a little becca. or "becca jrunior" as micah puts it :)  but each little moment like that makes me forget all about yelling at him for doing the same thing over and over. he's such a sweet little guy. i love my tag!

and wouldn't you know? as i sit here and type, he is cuddled up next to me/half laying on top of me the whole time playing on the tablet as baby crew is upstairs for his morning nap (must be nice!)  what a great way to start my day!

have a wonderful weekend everyone!

                             

it's been a long time

i love blogging. LOVE it. not like. love. and it's been awhile. a very long while. i logged on and it said my last post was january. i wanted to cry. i dream about blogging. ok, not actually dream--but daydream. i'll make a new recipe that i want to share or one of the boys will do something so cute i'll think about blogging about it.  then i stop and remember i have a hundred other things to do. ugh. i thought i was a stay-at-home mom. i should be able to find *some* time throughout the day for me--(ahem don't look at my eyebrows)  but i hardly ever do. with that said, i hardly find time with my heavenly father. with the exception of talking to him throughout the day. but not like a set time of daily devotion. i'm so guilty.

so where have i been? what in the world have i been doing? well that would be my 'little byrd'. i love photography. even more because i know that God has gifted me with this incredibly awesome talent--that i absolutely LOVE. it fits me perfectly--which is the way He intended of course. sigh. who knew running a  business with a husband and two small boys would be so difficult? my business is not huge by any means and to me it is successful. however, i find myself wondering, "what in the world am i doing?" i dream of the days of having a blank calendar. what i would give for that! now there is something written down on every day. it's exhausting to look at most days. so i close it and pray. remember to take one day at a time. and remember to say NO!

saying "no" has been a lifelong struggle of mine. i've always been a people person so that doesn't help. i LOVE my clients. i build relationships with them and am so thankful for  meeting them. they are special to me. some of my "clients" have even become friends. and some of my clients already are my friends. and it's weird to call them my clients. most of them have families and busy lives such as mine. it's easy for me to make connections with other people--especially the moms just like me..so moms in general.  that's the other part of my job that i love. the people.

the last few month have been so busy. this is a very busy season in my business. but the business has made me realize just how fast time goes. just how important my little boys are to me. just how much i have been neglecting them. typing that makes me almost cringe. and radiate with guilt. but it's true. it's made me realize i've been putting my business first. even though that has never been my intentions. it somehow happened. just like when i make a batch of cookies and say i'm only going to eat 3..yes, i start with 3. then i end up eating..well you get the point! at some point i realized my business was coming first. and that's not going to happen.

so i'm praying to find my balance once more. who knows what the future will hold for my business. i still love doing it and will continue to do so until God tells me otherwise. that's the great thing. i'm not going to stress. i'm going to pray and rely on God. He's the one in control and knows the desires of my heart. and another thing is for sure. i want my boys to know i am there for them whenever they need me. that i love them with my whole heart and would do anything in the whole wide world for them.

all about my boys-- 2 is better than 1 :)

it's surreal--i have two boys. TWO!! i am so thankful and blessed that God has given us the opportunity to have children--esp. two boys. two precious, beautiful boys. i never thought i would have boys. before we had tag, all my heart desired was a little girl. but God had other plans in mind:  tag & crew.  and that is one thing i will never question. they are the absolute love of my life and i am more than thankful for them.

i had even wondered, "how will i be able to love another child as much as i love tag?" i knew i would, but couldn't comprehend until i heard that first cry--that first cry that made me cry at 3:31 p.m. on dec. 27th, 2011. i was in love--all over again but with a new life--a new life that will forever change our lives.

  

tag makes me laugh and cry. he is the epitome of a 22 month old boy. trucks, cars, trains, loud, messy, defiant--the list goes on and on. but all in all, he is my buddy, my baby. following me all around the house wherever i go and i love it. and talk about talking? well he talks non-stop and has a very large vocabulary. he is our little social butterfly.  and so smart! yesterday he identified the letter 'r' and 'o'! and this morning, he came up to the laptop and pointed to the letter 'T' and said, "T!" i couldn't believe it! there are days where he makes me want to pull out my hair--but even on his very worst of days, i wouldn't trade him for anything!

and the newest addition to our family born on dec. 27th @ 3:31 p.m:  crew thomas. what a sweet, sweet baby! weighing in at a little over 7 lbs and about 21 inches, there is a lot to love about this little one. he doesn't cry unless he's being changed or has gas. if he's hungry, he doesn't really cry-it's more of a subtle way of wiggling around and grunting. that's nice in the middle of the night..none of that screaming that could wake the neighbors! and he has a dimple on his right cheek that absolutely makes my heart melt--and big, bright eyes. he is a beautiful baby! even though newborns bring lack of sleep into your life, i am enjoying every second of being tired. soon enough, he will be walking and talking. and once again, i will be asking myself, "where did the time go?!" so i am enjoying every second with him--even the 3 a.m. feedings :)

then there is my other boy. the one that's been in my life for 6 years now. the love of my life. i am reminded every day of how wonderful he is and how he makes my life complete. i am so thankful God brought him into my life. he keeps me sane and balanced. he is my rock. when we were in the hospital, i'm pretty sure i only changed one diaper. one! daddy was there by my side, helping out with everything. and the best part of it--i didn't even have to ask. he just did. he is the best daddy and husband. i never thought i would be lucky enough to marry the perfect one--the one you dreamed about as a girl--your perfect idea of a husband. my best friend.

 and tag adores him. trucks and jeeps--all things 'boy' is their connection. he already talks about projects they will work on when tag is older. now it will be projects for all three of them:  tag, crew and dad. my BOYS!!

i can't thank God enough for my life. the life he has blessed me with. the lives that He has given us to take care of, protect and love while we are on this earth.