Monday, April 7, 2014

My pregnancy 'thing' with my kids--what is/was yours?

When I was pregnant with Tag, I spent most of my time student teaching, and my mind focused on college graduation. We moved to Ohio after graduating, and the last two months of my pregnancy.  After getting settled, I had become bored. I couldn't substitute teach, as I was told by the public schools they hire in the beginning of the school year only (It was January, mind you). And who is going to hire a very pregnant girl for a short 2 months? Exactly. I mean, I could totally flip burgers with the best of them I'm sure. But no thanks. I was actually quite happy, and very thankful to enjoy not working. I was able to relax, and make sure everything was ready until tag would arrive. Well, I grew very bored, very quickly! I needed a project. I've always loved to be crafty, and somehow, my outlet--or 'thing' became painting. I took an art class in high school, and loved it--but was no artist by any means. I had Micah round up some old pieces of wood that I could paint on, bought some acrylic paint, painted everything! I had once heard of pregnant women doing special or memorable projects or activities while they were pregnant. And I thought, "hey, painting is my 'thing' for tag's pregnancy!" It just came naturally (not that I was good), but it just relaxed me and I enjoyed every second! 

This was one of the paintings I did, and was taken 2 days (i believe) before I had him! 

When I was pregnant with crew, I started blogging, and fell in love! I was skeptical at first, but I truly loved to blog about recipes and crafts, mostly. Even if no one would read it, it was a great outlet! I also remembered wanting to bake much more and try new recipes. I made bagels one day with Tag, and I will always cherish that memory!  

My first blog post! 

And one of my very favorite pictures of when I was pregnant with crew! Making bagels! 
(17 weeks pregnant with Crew) 

And now that I'm pregnant with Charlotte, I hadn't even thought about it! Until I realized I was knee deep in my obsession for having quite the stylish' baby girl! I loved putting both my boys in cute things, but it's all new to me this time with having a girl.  With all the new trends and styles i love, it can be expensive! I absolutely love to create and spend time using my hands creating new things, I always have! I started making her headbands, because as mentioned before--obsessed. And the thought of buying a headband for every outfit? Well, 1--we don't have the money for that, and 2--it's something special that I'm doing for her. Every single one, made with lots of love. I've had lots of people make comments such as, "oh, she'll probably pull them out" or "she'll hate them", etc. Well, duh. she might--I'm quite aware. And she might not. With Tag, he ALWAYS had a hat on. He loved them, and Crew hated them. It's the same concept. I guess people forget the for the first few months, anyway she won't have the say or the dexterity to do so :) also, making headbands for her has been my 'thing'. It relaxes me, makes me happy, and it's something that I can tell her all about someday--something that i did just for her. those anxious days of her not being here in my arms yet. a way to pass the time, and do something special for HER. so it doesn't matter that she may only wear some of them once, it's something special and very meaningful to me.

I made some new felt ones during nap today!

The other thing that's been my 'thing' during this pregnancy, is keeping my house clean (for the most part), being more organized, and getting rid of things. I tend to be lazy with housework and slack. Dishes always in my sink. Every drawer in the house--a MESS! but this whole pregnancy has made me a crazy person. Drives me insane to see something out of place in the house, dishes in the sink, a messy drawer. I've been going through our house and emptying out drawers, and filling trash bags for MONTHS. And keeping my kitchen clean..BLISS. We've taken bags and bags of stuff to salvation army. I slightly cringe when we drop the stuff off--guess that's just the hoarder in me! Thinking, "maybe i should have gone through that bag one more time.." HAHA! I just hope I can somewhat keep it up after she arrives. So those are my pregnancy 'things'. What were/are yours?

Thursday, April 3, 2014

One of 'those' days

Today was cold, rainy, and dreary. The perfect day to cuddle up on the couch with a good book or movie, and a big 'ole blanket without a care in the world. That sounds luxurious to me. I haven't been able to do that in over 4 years. And chances are, it'll be another 18 years or so before I can do that. 

Today was on of 'those' days. No, not as mentioned above. A day filled with toddler tantrums, tears from both kids and myself, disobeying, yelling &screaming (once again from the kids and me), pooping & peeing on the floor kind of day.

After saying (well screaming) at my oldest son for the 20th time today, I felt myself crying and burying my face in my hands after the words left my mouth. Partially because the words still stung--did I really just say that? And also, because I was exhausted, and have just had enough. and again when my youngest woke up from nap and decided to take his pants off and pee on the floor. Oh, did I forget to mention he pooped on the floor a few hrs before? And my friend's little girl stepped in it? Yep, that totally happened. Today was just rough. Those are just the highlights. 

My husband came home and just knew it had been one of 'those' days. Right after supper, he took the boys downstairs to play. We are like every other married couple who have their ups and downs, but I am so very thankful for him, and the father he is to our boys. Today, especially. He grabbed my hand at supper as I cried and told me it was ok,  that It's just a phase with me being pregnant and hormonal, and the boys out of control. He's right. And I know all these things. I remind myself every day. Someday, the boys won't even look my way twice, and I'll miss these days--well not today particularly, but the days where they call "mommy" 100 times...because they need me. 

Even though there are many rough days ahead of me, I have to remember to find joy in the hard times and moments. Because that is what we will remember. The joyful times will always outweigh the bad. And someday, we will tease our boys, and I'll remind them where my gray hair came from. Accounting each one to a story. "Well this one is from the day you painted yourself and the couch red..scratch that. These 5 are from that day." I can *almost* laugh about that story..

I'm learning to take a deep breath, take one day at a time, and to count my blessings. Thank you, Jesus for my ornery boys. They really do make our lives complete. Tantrums and all.