Thursday, April 3, 2014

One of 'those' days

Today was cold, rainy, and dreary. The perfect day to cuddle up on the couch with a good book or movie, and a big 'ole blanket without a care in the world. That sounds luxurious to me. I haven't been able to do that in over 4 years. And chances are, it'll be another 18 years or so before I can do that. 

Today was on of 'those' days. No, not as mentioned above. A day filled with toddler tantrums, tears from both kids and myself, disobeying, yelling &screaming (once again from the kids and me), pooping & peeing on the floor kind of day.

After saying (well screaming) at my oldest son for the 20th time today, I felt myself crying and burying my face in my hands after the words left my mouth. Partially because the words still stung--did I really just say that? And also, because I was exhausted, and have just had enough. and again when my youngest woke up from nap and decided to take his pants off and pee on the floor. Oh, did I forget to mention he pooped on the floor a few hrs before? And my friend's little girl stepped in it? Yep, that totally happened. Today was just rough. Those are just the highlights. 

My husband came home and just knew it had been one of 'those' days. Right after supper, he took the boys downstairs to play. We are like every other married couple who have their ups and downs, but I am so very thankful for him, and the father he is to our boys. Today, especially. He grabbed my hand at supper as I cried and told me it was ok,  that It's just a phase with me being pregnant and hormonal, and the boys out of control. He's right. And I know all these things. I remind myself every day. Someday, the boys won't even look my way twice, and I'll miss these days--well not today particularly, but the days where they call "mommy" 100 times...because they need me. 

Even though there are many rough days ahead of me, I have to remember to find joy in the hard times and moments. Because that is what we will remember. The joyful times will always outweigh the bad. And someday, we will tease our boys, and I'll remind them where my gray hair came from. Accounting each one to a story. "Well this one is from the day you painted yourself and the couch red..scratch that. These 5 are from that day." I can *almost* laugh about that story..

I'm learning to take a deep breath, take one day at a time, and to count my blessings. Thank you, Jesus for my ornery boys. They really do make our lives complete. Tantrums and all. 

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